Preludes to love
We took ecstacy that night many years ago... He and I went into the bathroom I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub watching him. His body was impeccable in only the way a climbers body would be, where the muscles had been pulled and stretched, his long lean limbs...the way his punk rock belt hung on his hips and his hipbones jutted out that would give me bruises on the insides of my thighs when we would make love. I felt my body start to peak in waves, such a body high that all I could do was sit there and stare at him as if it would be too intense to touch him. The feminine features of him seemed to make him so innocent looking. Long eyelashes, his high cheekbones, the curly unkempt hair..."You are so pretty I am scared to touch you"...he sat down and then pulled me onto him so I was straddling him. He moved my hair out of my face. He first whispered to me "I love you so much. You and I, we are so beautiful together Jericho. You are so beautiful, when you wake up and your eyes are so big, and the way you write, and your skin... and when people see us, they want this...this." he put his hand on my heart. He wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back and forth, and I felt everything from birth to this moment pulsating with my love. My love for this person. I knew also that we would lose each other because when two people who are so similar in spirit meet they eventually destroy each other. He took me to my loft...and we whispered into each other, and only the softest breathing remained when I collapsed into him. Your body, your body, your body" was what he said to me before he fell asleep. I stared at him that morning foreshadowing a heartbreak that hadn't occurred yet. I lost him to all the vices that destroyed us. But in those breaking and dividing moments where we promised to give all of ourselves, I believe we did. I know we did, because I didn't give myself like that again until almost ten years later...and the heartache was exactly the same.