ancient in your art form you move languidly toward me and I remember what pure desire feels like pure shapes formed into the want of my mouth and my hands of- can't get enough of you and fall to the burden of all this happiness just wrap yourself around me as my truth comes easily in the early morning of my heart remembering what it feels like to feel beautiful..
THe desire for something real and nothing contrived seems to penetrate the spaces in my soul that need to be filled up Who are we but creatures of existence who crave the things that bring us pleasure a kiss behind a bar a fleeting moment of connection an intoxicated sunrise we run toward the moon, toward the water, toward the elements and shrug it off in the morning as if the daily life holds the answers to our future while the late night stars, hold our secrets in the sky of an endless possiblity of freedom what is light without dark pleasure without pain they mingle so closely it is hard to separate them It is hard to remember when I ever wanted nothing more than something sincere what is beauty perched on a barstool if it holds nothing but a vessel? what are these words if they are never heard? who am I if you hear nothing and see nothing Who am I if you never cared about anything but just to get inside?
My 25 things 1) Everyone thinks I got my name from the bible but the truth is my father was watching the Wide World Of Sports and saw two surfer girls who he thought were “hot” apparently he liked their names too. One was Jericho Poplar and One woman was Rell Sunn. I had no idea where these women were from until I moved to Hawaii and learned Rell Sun grew up on Oahu and had passed away from breast cancer and that she was this beautiful strong woman with this amazing spirit of Aloha… Jericho Poplar went to school with one of my coworkers and had 5 daughters all named after movie stars, one of her daughters is named Ava after Ava Gardner which is who I named my daughter after. I consider it some sort of alignment with the universe that I came out to Hawaii to learn to surf and was named after two amazing women 2) I am selfish, but I also have so much love to give. Ava is the most beautiful thing I have ever created. She is my life, and everything I do is for her. I never wanted children I never planned on having children but having her I realized what it is to truly love selflessly. I figure that as long as I know that I did my very best to give her the best life possible, that I can die happy…. 3) I once broke down in the middle of the Desert, Post Burning Man where there would have been no one to save me for days. an old couple discovered me hours later they were just driving around middle of nowhere for fun...I was covered in dust and mud and tears and was wearing this old slip I had, had on for days. They took me in and fixed my car and fed me. It is the one thankyou I wish I could send…. 4) I think some sort of mix up happened when I was born in Montana, in the badlands, into a family of cowboys…I find something incredibly lonely about the flat plains, and I used to obsess about the ocean growing up. When I came to Hawaii I felt I had come home… I cried the first time I swam in the ocean, it was then that I decided we all have some sort of chemical make-up that resonates with certain places and elements…. 5) I have had times of depression that I feel are a huge part of me, I would neither take them back or choose to revisit them, I believe it has made me a much more compassionate human being. Surfing and writing are the two cheapest forms of therapy I have found and the only things that have gotten me to the other side 6) I have experienced every side of love and I always give myself completely when I do…it takes someone very important to get there and when they do they never leave me. It still always surprises me, when I meet someone who floors me and leaves me breathless and I never settle for anything less than that. And I suppose that’s why no matter how much it ever hurts, however awful the crash…I will always believe in love 7) I spent one beautiful summer in Alaska when I was eighteen. I think it set something off inside me that has remained through all the years. And that is; being okay with the silence, and being alone to hear yourself is a profound experience 8) I can’t paint and I think it’s bullshit, I have tried but really possess no talent whatsoever and feel incredibly cheated because I have this desire to paint all these things that I can’t…. 9) I believe in following your heart and not caring what anyone else thinks and I know that sounds quite generic, but it has gotten me through some hard choices…and it always ends up right...also I am a huge fan of mind blowing sex...I would make that number 10 but I am running out of room here, but really who isn't :) 10) I once lived in a horrible run down house with two czech girls, an insane alcoholic, and a crazy pitbull... 11) I was homeless in Tahoe briefly... living in my car, with no heat, in the middle of winter, there's a story I assure you as to how that happened as also with the statement before this 12) I know that had I lived a conventional life and done everything I was supposed to I would have been going against everything in my spirit...and there is nothing greater than living your truth 13) I think words and music and dance are the greatest universal gift….I am obsessed with music and used to judge people that have bad taste in music I am trying to stop doing this. I did meet my musical soulmate one time though…. 14 When I arrived on Kauai I spent the greater part of a year living in tents and camping on beaches….I learned more in that year about myself than any other time. And I still get nostalgic when I smell a hippie fresh from Kalalau 15) I think the hardest thing between people is communication….and that listening is really the most important thing in the world, I think the most beautiful thing about life is human connection 16) The best “date” I ever went on is when I met someone and I told him I had not seen the ocean in California ever and he drove me that day from Tahoe to Santa Cruz. It was the fastest I have ever fallen for someone and I have had good dates since but no one has ever beat him, as far as romantic gestures… 17) The only thing that makes me feel like a poser, is that I have owned a guitar for 6 years and I still can’t play it, I am giving myself one more year. 18) I have been writing everyday since I can ever remember, it is the one thing I must do. I want to write a book or a screenplay and somehow tackle that box of endless journals from all those years 19) I think people’s true character really comes out when they are put in uncomfortable situations and trying times, how they react… 20) There have been too many things in my life that have happened that were just so synchronistically perfect for me to ever think that things are just coincidence 21) I think there is a grotesque sort of ridiculous view of beauty now. With the media and everything in it. I love fashion which I guess would sort of contradict that statement. But I don’t like it that people have stopped looking at others as being beautiful because they don’t meet some ridiculous plastic standard. I love scars and flaws and interesting looking people. I love also that as I get older I am more comfortable in my own skin 22) I have had to work very hard for everything in my life and I consider this a virtue in some aspects, I think I am very grateful. But at some point I am hoping I get to relax a little and do more of the things that I really want to do and not have to struggle so much. I am still trying to figure out what I officially want to be or do when I grow up 23) I am planning on traveling the world at 42, and living in cities and experiencing every part of culture and life and food that I can, the only part that pains me about living is that life is so fucking short and there’s just so much to see and do experience 24) I don’t think there is just one person out there for someone, but I am convinced there is someone out there just as crazy as me, that will travel the world with me, that will get me… 25) I used to feel like you're not progressing if you stay somewhere for too long, but really being on Kauai for 8 years, and having to go through so many life changes in such a small place dealing with people and really having to face things and get over them. Has taught me humility and forgiveness, and how to let go…and that means more than just running like I used to whenever it got hard. 26) I would rather be me and be disliked than ever pretend to be something or someone I am not and be liked…. Alright I guess that’s 26
007 Wishful thinking Wish I could walk through a whole day without judgement. Wish I didn't have to see the same people on the covers of magazines, I wish often that the people who are really wonderful acts to FURTHER THE QUALITY OF PEOPLE'S LIVES WOULD GET RECOGNITION. Wish that criticism could feel constructive to my soul instead of destructive to my ego. Wish for patience at the the DMV, the Airport, anyplace where people throw their small amount of power into your face, wish that decisions made in congress and the senate were based upon common sense and compassion and not upon money slipped the greedy old hands, Wish all the mothers had support and could support each other, Wish that people would look beyond their truth That there is no good or bad we are multifaceted creatures who fuck up often, we should be nicer to each other, Wish for the healers and the artists and the dancers and the writers would start a fucking revolution and perhaps give a shit about what we will leave for our children, what we are doing to innocent humans in other countries, that the people who can create music would let their voices be heard. that music is universal and understood. WISH WE COULD UNITE with celebration in the conscious decision to stop wishing and start doing what we all wish for. Perhaps you would like to join me
How long have I been here where there is no discerning quality between seasons. And can I stay forever? I want to the freedom to be weird and wonderful. I miss wearing inappropriate outfits, slips and scarves and see through things, I miss kissing random boys and girls to feel their lips and rub up against desire, Miss being told that I'm beautiful for being me. I miss art and music, I miss the desert and the beautiful sunrises, I miss not caring so much what everyone thinks and living for my very moment, I want to dance on rooftops and speakers and mountains or wherever it strikes my fancy. I miss heated conversations about real things that are happening in this world. give me fashion and big boots and plays. I miss the boys with sexy hips rock star belts slung low on their ink filled bodies that drive me mad, and the ones in suits and beautiful things to bury my face in. I need the city give me the fucking city. Please get me the fuck off this rock
need someone who can make me wet with his intellect and paint scenery on my skin, to listen really hear the words that reside inside me and want those words as much as he wants to get in, want to open my soul so wide that there are no others just space and time and divine pleasure. take those graceful fingertips that create beauty and place them on my hips and hear my poetry whispered from my lips...only for you.
Slow down your naked sunshine soul Be you down to the eyes with which you see the world bury myself into the elements floating in the abyss Always searching to find my light into the green grass of sunshine fingertips Desire and ache for closeness Like the wind through your hair A hand holding your head A sleepy dream of memories Tranquil how lazy the day down a soft beach of solitude People fade beautifully into soft spoken whispers Smoke curls from vain red lips I reach for time And grasp it from my fingertips And we dance The divine sense of simplicity Tangled limbs of familiarity Shadows move in time to the beat tell me how the time knows The sky flows into divided rythms of soft bodies reaching for the sky and we Dance Ageless trips kiss my fingertips of wisdom tell me how the hours lounge lazily in time Can you feel the beauty move through the sound of music Into your body? Taste my soul with your shadow and we dance Down dimensions of telepathic trips sway my hips trace your kiss with my fingertips to taste you Long after I walk away I stop to close my eyes Can you feel yourself Love? Can you hear your own voice? Silence your mind And we dance So hush, and lay your head on my soft lap Double trips to late night bliss pleasure touches me so deep it penetrates the walls of my heart fingers graze across the sound of an endless sky thousands of years etched upon translucent light Soft sensations rubbing in the night rebirth revival of the senses you percieve your reality as timeless Your moment is timeless and we dance Down pathways of emotion let's take a little trip to freedom and forgive Take a breathe to Love To let it go you have the ability to move freely and we dance for the thirst of adventure At ease we tease the sunrise And bathe in the face of a radiant sky and we dance
Let us skip the pleasantry and get down to business...conquer the silence by filling up these spaces with my words...some sort of narcissistic evidence of my need to ramble, dance, do it in style, go crazy, come back, get drunk, get laid, surf, swallow life whole and take in all the elements; until my soul is filled~ and live to tell about it...