I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy~
anais nin

The Detox

So I am doing a cleanse. I realize this is obnoxious in many ways, even uttering those words to people, most roll their eyes with disdain. However after beginning a summer flat out fucked, working on a movie, living on coffee, alcohol, and hungover breakfasts and then proceeding to get fired and doing the oh so stereotypical thing that girls do, I just ate a alot, I must say it was really enjoyable emotional eating filled with Ice Cream and pasta's, iced mocha's... And then I tried on bathing suits in Macy's where the lighting is so awful it brought me to tears, and that is when I realized I had gotten fat. The thing about getting fat is no one tells you! Friends help each other out, if you see your friend getting fat you should tell them! That is when I decided to do the cleanse. The first day I was like a poster child junkie in the fetal position on the floor. I NEEDED COFFEE, now I love coffee, I love everything about it. It's one of my last vices and trust me I have given up a whole lot, there is a reason all those AA people sit outside smoking fags and drinking coffee, it's the last socially accepted, government approved vices. But enough about them, this is about me, so I needed coffee. I felt like Leonardo DiCaprio in Basketball Diaries in his heroin withdrawal scene (which by the way I really felt was such a smart transition from playing the retard in What's Eating Gilbert Grape I really thought you could have spliced those scenes from the movie and put them together and you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference) ANYHOOO there I was with the worst migraine in the dark, pressing my head against the wall wondering why I decided to do this. SO here I am on week three and I must say I feel that hippies are so much more friendly to me now, like the little girl at the Health Food Store who I was asking for help and then I mentioned I was on a cleanse and her eyes lit up, it was a special moment. Needless to say I won't be growing dreadlocks anytime soon or listening to the Grateful Dead....

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